2012: Be careful of what you ask for...

Happy New Year! Welcome 2012

I am grateful for everything...thank you Lord!

It was a tremendous 2011...and for sure an exciting year ahead!

The start was a bit jaw dropping, thought I had the job of the year then the inevitable happened. Back to the Job Hunt!

I found this marketing manager job online for a car dealership which catered 11 brands and their main was in San Fernando Pampanga. I went back and forth traversing through cities just to get it...Manila to Pampanga, Baguio to Dagupan, Pangasinan, then 3x Baguio to Pampanga again. It cost me a lot! A whole lot...not only in moolah but in time and effort.

OH WELL! CHARGE IT TO EXPERIENCE!

The GOOD thing >>> I saw their true colors...blessing in disguise...all in DAY ONE!

The BAD things >>> The job was set for North Luzon, so I was sooooo excited! Finally a job I know how to do and which I can be productive, progressive and learn something new from it. A little perk was to have a service vehicle of course...in a nut shell it was better than what was on the menu of other opportunities posted along the way.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS >>> I got the job offer on Dec.27th, I traveled 183kms. just to sign a piece of paper...I traveled from 8am and got there 3pm using public transports I could...the trip was longer than the signing of the document. I got back home midnight :( it was really an arduous task.

YEAR 2012 >>> So I was set to start Jan.2 but asked for Jan.9 as I need to process my papers/requirements which was also at my expense...medical etc. etc. all my expense...they are so thrifty or should I say wise!

DAY ONE >>> I couldn't find a trip which could bring me there on time but I got there just right. Prior to that I kept asking them details, what to expect and other things which might be essential to the job.

I got there, signed some documents, then Lunch Break. I was with 3 other newbies. Then the waiting game began. We sat in the conference room for about an hour and a half, wondering what is next because no one seems to be interested in briefing us on what will happen. It was like a guessing game. Until they came in with some more documents.

WHEW >>> I've seen a lot of HRs in my lifetime. I've been to many types of interviews/exams/job applications/hiring/job offers/career related stuff and this is the first time I experienced such. I had my HUGE luggage with me with a backpack and a bag. I was introduced to the person who will be training me supposedly...who seem to be at a lost as well on what he was supposed to teach me... donning a poker face in front of the boss because he felt threatened of my presence and my role in the team. I don't know if they really knew what they were doing or they just kept trying because that's their routine and they've been doing it for some time now.

AT THE END OF THE DAY >>> Still no official protocol except they gave me 1k for my accommodations because I was advised that the staff house was not ready for me, and to think they hired me weeks prior to my arrival. I also heard from an angry bird that the staff house was bare, just mattresses on the floors...no basic household items. They bought their own pail & dipper and potable water to drink. To top it all, we were asked to sign a non employee-employer relationship document which also stated that our training allowance will be given only after the training...WOW! So what would be the purpose of my training allowance if this would be given after the training...why didn't they tell me this fact when I asked them first hand...why tell me now when there seems to be no way out. They discussed about corporate attires which I didn't had in my luggage because they didn't tell me beforehand when I kept asking...now they pointed out requirements which should've been told weeks ahead.

EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED >>> Since it was a reputable (so to speak) AutoGroup in San Fernando Pampanga, I expected that they would at least give me a ride to where I was supposed to stay since I wasn't familiar with the place. Lo and behold they assisted me by hailing a Tricycle (a motorcycle with a carriage for passengers), just imagine my disgust carrying a huge luggage and 2 bags with me, I almost didn't fit in the Tricycle. I'm a down-to-earth person, I can live in tents because I was a very active girl scout, but what I didn't like was the lack of preparedness this company presented. I was surprised that they couldn't even provide a decent transportation to aide their management team or to billet them in a comfortable/decent hotel.

SLEAZY MOTEL >>> So I crossed the national high way and asked to be taken to Sogo Motel in Mexico Pampanga. When I got there, no cheap rooms where available for a 12hr rental. In fact HR told me that check in time was 8pm, it was only 6pm and they suggested that I leave my stuff at the lobby and buy time at SM Pampanga. Another WOW! I was really tired and hungry for travelling half day then to realize I couldn't settle in because of these factors. I only had enough money in my pocket to get back home and I was not going to spend it for the night because they didn't want to spend for me. I begged the service attendants to give me a room for a reasonable price because I was from out of town and I needed a roof on my head. Finally they gave in. I got a cigarette infused room just vacated by a couple who had a short stay...okay that's not too good but what the heck, I was desperate!

MOMENT OF TRUTH >>> I couldn't sleep coz the electricity was on and off...the AutoGroup didn't even bother to check if I got there, got a room or what, I had to tell them and they responded like it was all fine. I hadn't taken my dinner...I was really tired so during my stay, I decided if they were like this on the first day, what more on the next. I just couldn't believe this was all for real. When I got up the next day, no breakfast and again---riding a tricycle, I asked if there was a bus going back home since this was next to impossible and I was also in a dilemma on how to get my luggage through another jeepney ride just to get to the bus station.

FORTUNATELY >>> there was a bus going home...without a blink of an eye, i waited and took off without saying goodbye...my first night was a nightmare, i was in tears because aside from the fact that I was away from my family and my home, it was terrible to experience such. God was good enough to send angels via this bus going home...and I took this chance, no matter if I lost my first job for the year.

LESSON >>> I've always vouched for HONESTY, INTEGRITY, and TRANSPARENCY...which this AutoGroup didn't practice nor its employees...now I know why they're named such because if translated to English they are really "LOSERS" for making their employees undergo such. They ask for security because some employees leave them making their company a training ground...but now I wonder why these employees left. I thought I found a new home, a new family, but...all I found was a closed door so I could open a new window in my next journey...going back home! Finding the right job! A better company...even without a ride, I will continue...until I find it...for now it's going to be fine...I'm going for it...

Mitsubishi Evo by M-Pics

'Tis the Season to be Jolly...

Time flies so fast that you barely notice that it's almost end of 2011. It's that time again where the air is cool and everyone is kind and giving...the season for Christmas time. We, Christians celebrate the birthday of our Lord Jesus Christ on December 25. I think we should make it Christmas daily because it's the only time when people become kinder to each other. They tend to be more Christian like than most days which I believe we should practice the whole year round.

It's difficult to be forgiving, I know, especially to those who are very unkind to us...but we must try our very best to put our good foot forward and be a living example to the new generation. We must be beacons of positiveness as well since these days the world is so negative, full of evil and even mother earth is experiencing decay.

Family and Friends, let us continue to be resilient even amidst the hardships of life. We must keep believing and pray unceasingly that the Lord Jesus Christ with His Loving Mother Mary, the Saints and all the Angels, grant us a good, peaceful and abundant life.

Merry Christmas to All and A Prosperous New Year!

Praying today!

Photo: Christianity Cross by graur razvan ionut

Praying is the only thing that keeps my sanity each day. I pray unceasingly...when my eyes open, sometimes even if I am half awake and half asleep...I pray when I eat or drink my cup of fresh brew. I pray when I am in the shower...when I do the chores...when I walk...when I commute...it doesn't really matter where I am and what I am doing...I never stop praying.

The year is almost ending...although I feel that a lot of goals were not met and I experienced a lot of road blocks but there were also a lot of good things along the way. In fact, answered prayers were unimaginable to begin with. Having found a partner for life is the Best Gift that GOD has given me, YES, unexpectedly but life saving. Healing of many afflictions. Yet the ones I still carry are also part of that journey.

I am blessed, having all these in my life. Despite the trials and the many troubles I face each day...financial issues which gives me a headache...I pray to find a stable source of income that I may be able to provide and be able to settle. This is my goal. These are all superficial and can be resolved when you just keep on hitting even the air. I accept the other loads to carry because I am blessed. I only pray for healing...complete and total healing.

As much as we want not to worry, as much as we want to stay positive and to inspire other people, we are all human. We get to that point when we realize that we can only do as much, yet we are more than blessed than those who are less fortunate than us. Instead of channeling our energy towards these worries, why not use it to pray and pray with all your heart and all your might. Let GOD carry the load for you, the burden in your heart, lighten the soul...because He is a loving Father. A merciful healer and great provider. He will never forsake us because He created us and know what our life is even before we were born.

I want to CHANGE today. To pray more than I ever did. I feel that I have missed out on my praying lately. I have given thought more on other things which distracts my spiritual growth.

TODAY I just want you to PRAY with me. Even if in doubt, just PRAY. I remember my mom, who will celebrate her 11th death anniversary on Oct.31, she was a role model. She prayed all the time, morning, noon and night. Until her last days, she was praying. Perhaps even in her last hours. I just hope I can be more like her in many ways, especially in PRAYING.

So as this new "Dear Auntie" blog entry ends, pause for a while. Whatever you are doing, say a prayer. Say it LOUD in your heart, in your mind, in your soul...let the heavens be moved by your praying and let GOD hear your plea. GOD is good all the time and He answers our prayers in HIS time. GOD bless your day. You are in my prayers.

the crying man

Photo:Depression by Salvatore Vuono

I saw a man the other day, he was walking briskly...for a moment he paused, sat on the pavement and looked up in the sky, like wondering, asking why? I thought he was about to cry but instead he wiped his face with a white towel, the blazing hot sun was making him sweat like a runner in a marathon. He moved under a big old tree, where the shade was, trying to cool off.

I watched some more. He pulled out a water bottle from his back pack, drinking a little to quench his thirst. Again, he looked up in the sky, starring blankly like nothing else matters. I can sense a feeling of sadness written across his face. Loneliness that engulfs his core. Screaming inside just wanting to get out.

For several minutes he stayed in that manner, until I walked over to see if he was alright. I asked how he was...he looked at me and didn't say a word. Motioned his hand and put his right thumb up. A way to tell that all was just going well. I sat across him, right under the next tree, strangely after a few minutes, he began to cry. I didn't understand why?

He hailed like a lonely wolf on top of the mountain. Pouring tears like the rain on a stormy night. I can feel his sadness...deep rooted sadness...a sadness beyond one can ever imagine. I patted his back and tried to comfort him. It was not working. I tried to force a smile out of him, but nothing. Even cracked a joke but only silence roared amidst the tears.

I stood up and left. As I walked away, I wondered. How much pain was weighing him down that he could not contain and made him burst into tears. Perhaps it was a pain that cuts through the heart. A cut that never heals. Each time it is touched, the wound becomes deeper...more painful than ever...

I knew that the man was so sad...I only pray that his loneliness would fade away...his grief would turn into laughter...his pain into bliss...for how long
he will endure such, no one could tell...for now it is just a story. Perhaps one day, you might meet him along the way...and when you do, you'll know what to do.

No one wants to be sad or lonely...in case you meet someone who is, be a friend, listen if you can, or just tap his shoulders and say, "everything will be okay"~

I Stopped Running...

Photo:Download Arrow Sign by ntwow


We get up each day, grateful that we are still alive...that itself is a blessing...
First thing we do is take a step when we get out of bed...then another step...then one more...in life that's how we do it...we take steps!

Some take baby steps...some take giant leaps!

Most days, we know where we are going...but what if we don't know which road to take? Where do we go?

I am no longer RUNNING...

I found my sanctuary...so it seems...shouting my prayers towards heaven.

The rat race keeps you seeking for that ideal job...one that you like to do and compensates well, added bonus if you have a nice office and great colleagues, right? Perhaps some are lucky to have these in their lives...and for some who are lost at what life throws back at them...they struggle to survive...it's a fight for unemployment. It's a different ball game. You cannot pass the ball to any one just like that. You need to keep dribbling till you reach the goal and take that shot.
It doesn't really matter if they like it, if they are happy with it, they just soak in it and absorb it all to have a decent meal on their plate.

Being an itinerant, like the late Steve Jobs, I keep searching for the right one. But I have settled...I found my happiness...in the persona of my lifetime partner. Perhaps not in the career I aspire for, because believe or not, I never wanted to become a writer...never imagined I'd be doing this as a source of income...I have always been creative, an innate passion to create and to be in the field of arts, but I never thought this would lead me to a writing career. I am still learning. I want to hone my writing skills further. Attend workshops and be able to utilize it to its maximum potentials.

I may be in search right now for projects and online jobs...or a secure employment but that doesn't mean I am still RUNNING...because I am not. The steps I am taking right now are no longer for myself...but having the financial security to provide for my family...but happiness is not based on these alone...you need to have realizations along the way...that being blessed with someone is more than what one can ask for. Definitely GOD gives you what you pray for. Life would be different if I didn't have it all together.

So today, ask yourself if you have found your happiness in some form or the other...because if you did, it's time to retire those running shoes and head off to the right direction. Stay Happy.

silence...

Photo:Rain In London by vegadsl

the sound of the rain falling as the storm hits into the walls of the heart...

smashing waves breaks the silence echoing in the distance as it roars...

terrified each time it hits the depths of the soul...

reflections of the past keep haunting...

the joyous milliseconds seems to be lost...

searching is almost a lost cause...

how can one find the answers to questions that is not...

drifting into a sea of uncertainty, sailing far away...

when can one find serenity...

where is that place called heaven...

angels may be lurking but too much pain...

in the stillness of the darkness...

a hope to see the light...

emotions that are forgotten...

trapped inside the recesses of the mind...

until it all stops...

silence...silence...silence...

It's TIME...

Photo: Road In The Mist by Evgeni Dinev

Uncertain as it may seems the road to life is twisted and complex. There are many decisions we have to make, some good, some bad, along the road you keep on making mistakes, but each time you do, the learning is inevitable. Changes are constant. You cannot choose the family you were born into, it's a given! I am thankful I have one. But in every family set up, especially in a big clan, you will experience a lot of happiness, sadness, tension and problems.

God created us to be equally different. He knew the lay out of our lives even before our birth. Everything is up to us when we are born. Of course, our parents guide us until we are able.

Different personalities...
Different quirks and rationalities...
Different strokes for different folks...

There is a fine line between independence with freedom and living with you family.
It's a matter of defining the realities according to your preferences.
A need to cooperate and tolerate.
Somehow it can be unbearable at times.

Each day...
Do the things that will make you happy.
Treat people right and be kinder.
Learn to accept the criticisms of others even if it's not true.
Apologize if you need to because that's the right thing to do.
Make the most of what's in your plate,tomorrow might not come.
Soar, fly, take risks, face challenges, and keep dreaming.

Like what the late Steve Jobs said in his favorite quote "Stay Hungry"...
He said..."don't settle, find it..." find what you love to do, find whom you love, never settle...in order to do something great, you have to do something you love.

Life may be a never ending road but each time you take a step you move on.
There may be villains along the way but you have the power to eradicate them.
Utilize the goodness you find and share it with others.
Never let anyone get you down, make you feel shitty like you're a total loser.

You have the power to change the course of your life.
Only you have the ability to make things happen.
Stand up. Keep fighting. Go forward.

It's TIME!